About Felicity Banks

I write books (mainly adventure fantasy for kids and young adults), real-time twittertales, and a blog of Daily Awesomeness. @Louise_Curtis_ and http://twittertales.wordpress.com. My fantasy ebook is on sale at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/278981.

Book Week activity for pre-school to Year 4 kids

Last year, I wrote a story with my daughter’s Kindy class. This year I’m going one better (or at least noisier) and writing a story with my son’s pre-school class. This is a fairly fancy* pre-school, so even in pre-school the kids are encouraged to write their own names, and most can write the first letter.

I start off the class by saying that I’m a writer, and waving a book around—perhaps one of mine; perhaps one from their shelf (pointing out the author name in either case).

Optional parts of the opening (for older kids):

-Talking about how a lot of books have both an author/writer and artist/illustrator.

-Talking about how books can be true stories or made-up stories (fiction and non-fiction), keeping in mind that younger kids genuinely can’t distinguish between reality and fiction in the same way older kids can.

-Talking about how writers send their words to a publisher, who arranges printing and sends the books to a shop.

-Reading a book to the class.

 

The central message of the opening spiel:

I have written a book but it’s not finished and I need your help! There are no names in the book, and no pictures!

 

Preparation:

-A binder with lots of those clear plastic sheets inside, like these.

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-A title page and beginning to the story, an end, and a lot of pages that are complete (and interchangeable) except for requiring a name.

Eg. For pre-schoolers:

Title Page:

1R [or whatever the class is called] Story

Page 1:

One day there was a pre-school class with lots of friends.

Middle (many copies of each):

______ is clever.

______ is kind.

______ is strong.

______ is funny.

Final page: What a great class!     The End

 

I explained that there were four describing words and that all of the kids were all of those four things, but they needed to pick their favourite (and I also had four people—my two kids, and two teachers) stand in different parts of the room to gather their groups (the kind group, the strong group, the clever group, and the funny group). I was quite pleased with how gender-diverse the results were (although of course one boy said “[Girlname] isn’t strong!” and I said, “Yes she is!” and moved on).

Then I handed out the piles to each group, and had the kids write their names and draw a picture on their page, giving them back to me when they finished.

I put them back into the folder in random order, checked it was all legible, and then when everyone was done I gathered them back on the mat and read the finished story. Then I let the class have the finished story. (The teachers can photocopy it and email copies to all the parents if they want.)

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Feel free to use and adapt this lesson as much as you like.

If you feel grateful, buy one of my books from my storeThe Monster Apprentice is suitable for 8+ (it’s like Narnia with pirates) and the Antipodean Queen steampunk fantasy books are suitable for 13+ (with bonus bits of much-mangled Aussie history). In both cases, advanced kids can go ahead and read them at a younger age. I read The Monster Apprentice aloud to Louisette when she was 5, but skipped a couple of scary bits.

*debate the merits of early literacy training in the comments!

Kitten kitten kitten!

Meet Zipper.

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Zipper and her brother were found at a camp site and taken to the RSPCA. I think what happened is someone’s cat had a litter and they were too embarrassed to take them to the RSPCA themselves so when the kittens were old enough they took them into bushland and let them go.

Don’t do that, kids. Cats are stone cold killers and feral cats are terrible for the environment. (Also, desex your cat. The world has enough kittens—which means a LOT, coming from me.)

These two are most assuredly not feral cats. Zipper is clearly familiar with house environments, and is remarkably well-behaved for her age.

When our previous cat, Ana, died, I knew we’d get a new kitten soon. If Australia went to war and my entire family ended up in a refugee camp, I would find a cat and make it part of our shack/tent/whatever. That’s just life.

Chris isn’t a cat person. Whenever I mentioned a cat and checked in on his opinion about getting a new fur baby he described himself as “resigned”. But of course he’s the one most likely to spoil a cat, too.

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I was being Mature and Responsible. I didn’t get a new kitten immediately, which is already impressive, to my mind. I wrote a list of things we were looking for in a cat, and what we’d need to prepare for a kitten (litter & scoop & tray, food, fishing-pole toys so the kids could play with it safely, a scratching post, etc). Bit by bit I acquired everything on the list, including a collar with a tag engraved with my phone number (in case she gets lost and the person who finds her doesn’t know about microchips), and made sure that the small bits of garden in our back yard are suitable for cat toileting (Zipper will stay inside for weeks/months but we had a good thing going with Ana—she always took care of her business outside, and we didn’t have to do a thing).

Definitely not a long-haired cat this time. Definitely not a “difficult” personality, because of my kids. Definitely not a pink nose (it leads to cancer if the owner doesn’t take precautions… which I did for Ana for a while, and always knew I should have done better). Definitely not a vocal cat. Ideally female. Ideally black. Ideally beautiful. Definitely a very young kitten—kittens over 6 months are all very well, but they’re already gangly teenagers, and (for better or worse) beginning to be set in their ways. Plus the wobbly kitten walk only lasts such a short time, and it’ll be 10-20 years before I get another cat.

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Okay, she has a pink nose. Maybe I’ll be a better parent this time.

Okay, she meows a lot. Like, a LOT. The RSPCA didn’t mention her being vocal, but I sat and watched her (and two other cats) for an hour, and during that time she meowed hello at me. So I had my suspicions.

She DID just get desexed (the day before yesterday—her whole belly is shaved as you can see below), which would certainly make me complain*. And she is deeply offended by closed doors (so far we’re restricting her movements to make sure she’s fully in the litter-using habit before she’s unsupervised in the kids’ rooms—plus, we’re observing her particular brand of destruction and cat-proofing accordingly).

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In terms of destruction, she’s pretty mild. It’s clear that it’ll take some doing to get her to exclusively use her scratching post (I bought a flat door-hanger style scratching thing today so she has a horizontal scratcher as well as the vertical ones). So far, she hasn’t climbed much at all—just the back of couches and armchairs, which is fine. She’s been on the dining table a few times, and the training procedure for that & appropriate scratching places has well and truly begun. She’s already pretty good though.

Both kids have been very slightly scratched. That’s fine: they were warned; they have fishing-pole toys that can be used without danger; they have been thoroughly trained on cat body language; and Zipper isn’t big enough to truly hurt anyone yet. She’s also gently bitten me a few times, which was actually perfect because I’ll be doing most of the direct behavioural training (so when she’s clearly in a playful mood I’ll deliberately put my own hands/feet/face in the danger zone and then tell her off when she inevitably bites or scratches me—this leads to an extremely trustworthy older cat, who will resist even the most egregious temptation).

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So far we know a few things about her: She’s clever enough that she knew her own (previous) name when I met her (that’ll make training either easy or hard, depending on her curiosity level); she’s all about the quality time (probably partly because she was so recently desexed), not much of a climber (which if it sticks will very much help in protecting our stuff) but a bit of a furniture/carpet scratcher.

She hasn’t chewed a single electrical cord, so that’s good!

 

Since I began writing this entry (on Tuesday, aka K-Day), her meowing has reduced significantly. That bodes well! She still sometimes meows when people leave the room—which is a bad habit, but shows how much she loves having company. On her first night, she slept on my pillow. It was clear that she would have liked to drape elegantly across my face and/or inside my ear, but in the end she settled down in a relatively sane manner (I could breathe, which is a priority for me).

TJ is so in tune with her that he came into my room to tell me “Zipper doesn’t like her collar” (absolutely true, although she’s getting used to it now). Louisette is in love, and since my parents’ extremely large puppy knocked her over she’s switched her allegiance from dogs to cats. There are already pics of her and Zipper on her classroom wall.

I imagine Zipper is already in the running to be their perfect listener for all their future emotional crises for the next 10-20 years. She’ll do a fabulous job. And she loves them too—yes, already. If there’s a loud noise or something else distressing, she’ll go to any one of us for comfort.

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Naturally I’m well and truly obsessed. Zipper is just lovely, and life is good. My blood sugar is down, and when Chris was sick for two days this week I did All The Things and coped pretty darn well.

So if anyone asks, she’s my therapy cat. Which is of course perfectly true.

*Huh. Technically I’m getting desexed myself sometime in the next year or so (as treatment for adenomyosis & suspected endometriosis)… for free, and it’s a much smaller op than I had last year. I can’t wait to have another great leap forward in my health!

 

 

Cat Names

Here is our brand new kitten:

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I spent a lot of time considering possible names. I needed something that could be short or long (I tend to shorten names and then lengthen them, eg Annaleise–> Anna–>Anna-bananaramagram), that the kids didn’t hate, that I didn’t mind shouting into the night (not, for example, “Fire” or “Figaro” or “Buttface”), and that wouldn’t be excessively embarrassing to the kids when they’re teenagers.

Here are some that made the shortlist:

Agatha Heterodyne (steampunk mad scientists from Girl Genius graphic novels)

Ada Lovelace (a real-life Victorian countess, inventor, and computer programmer)

Misty (for a white cat)

Leia (except I’m still broken up over Carrie Fisher’s death so I’d feel sad whenever I used it)

Isaiah

Loki (an excellent cat name, thanks to him being the God of Mischief… and Tom Hiddleston. Also it’s wise to use a character who’s dead* since they can’t then go and commit incest or something)

Ariel

 

For a black cat:

Raven

Shadow

Midnight

T’Challa (aka the Black Panther)

Chadwick (the actor who plays King T’Challa so very well)

Shuri (who is sometimes the Black Panther in the comics)

Letitia.

Or literally any other cast member of Black Panther.

 

Sherlock

Mimi (apparently that’s the “Rover” of cat names in China)

Mao (Mandarin for ‘cat’ and Louisette really wanted to call it ‘Meow’ for a while… but that’d definitely cause an increase in vocalisation)

TomTom (fun to say)

Mystique (for the X-Men character, plus it abbreviates to Missy)

Nox and/or Mademoiselle Brunet (one of my characters – good for a female cat that’s black, white, or brown)

Emmeline (ditto)

Matilda (ditto)

Patrick (ditto)

Amelia (after Ms Earhart; Louisette vetoed it on the basis that if the cat walked in while she was having one of our Amelia Earhart books read, the cat could be confused)

Gandalf

Merlin

Frodo

Samwise

Aragorn (shortens to Arrow, which is cool)

Qwerty/Qwertyuiop (I really liked this; the kids were deeply unimpressed)

Blaze/Diamond (based on markings)

Boudica

Scuttlebutt (fun to say, and piratical too)

Ping Pong (fun to say; good description of cat movement)

Snugglepot & Cuddlepie (yes, I suggested to Chris more than once that we get siblings, partly for their benefit and partly for the kids’ benefit… but he was right to say no. Two is too much for me.)

Bubble (again, fun to say)

Hiccup (fun to say, plus the hero from “How to Train Your Dragon” which is a cool movie/s/show/s/book/s)

But the name we finally settled on is….

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Zipper.

I like to say it, the kids see the logic in “she zips around” and it shortens to “Zip” or “Zip-Zip” and lengthens to “Zip-e-dee-do-ya”.

So that’s her name.

She’s another tortoiseshell/white cat. Apparently I have a type (also, the ultimate decision was between two cats, and neither was plain black which is what I was hoping for… but she’s soooo beautiful, isn’t she?)

*probably for reals this time.

Insert Toilet Joke Here

August is an exciting month.

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GammaCon (where that pic was taken) is over for another year (it RULED by the way) but the Canberra Writers’ Festival is approaching (23-26 August) and I’ll be launching TWO books that weekend.

Murder in the Mail: A Bloody Birthday will be launched with a week-long art exhibition at The Front cafe and gallery in Lyneham.

The official launch is 3:30-5:00pm on Saturday 25th, and at least two of the visual artists plan to be there.

——–

And the final book in my steampunk fantasy trilogy, Antipodean Queen 3: Iron Lights will be launched as an official part of the Canberra Writers Festival at Old Parliament House (aka The Museum of Australian Democracy) in Kings’ Hall 2:45-3:15pm Sunday August 26.

I’ll be selling all my stuff at both launches.

They’re also in stock (including Murder in the Mail: A Bloody Birthday and Magic in the Mail: Emmeline’s Empire, which are in the games section) at Dymocks Belconnen, which means all my books/games are super easy to order into any Dymocks store (but especially Tuggeranong, which is linked to Belco).

 

But that’s not why I’m blogging today.

I’m blogging because of an event far rarer and more impressive than a book launch. I usually release a book a year… but this is something that hasn’t happened since TJ was born.

I did a proper clean of the toilet.

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I cleaned the whole room, including the floor and walls (there was quite a bit of blood on the wall*). Just look at how clean it is!

Chris and I are talking fairly seriously about dividing up our house so we can take a tenant (tenant rather than room-mate because they’d have a separate entrance and loo). So that’s why I was suddenly enthusiastic about cleaning… because it’s likely this will be my toilet soon.

Sidebar: I suspect any artworks that are unsold at the end of the exhibition will be in with a chance of making an impromptu gallery in this one tiny clean part of my house. A rather dubious honour, I think. But the above cleanliness is somewhat bland, don’t you agree?

Regular readers will know that we recently said goodbye to Princess Ana after ten fluffy years, and that a house without a cat is unthinkable. (As I write this, the wind is banging the cat flap, and I keep expecting Ana to walk in and glare at me in that adorable cat manner.)

That’s one of the VERY early pic of TJ and Ana. There are many more.

it is to TJ’s credit that he prefers an older cat. I am not a good enough person to adopt an older cat. I enjoy the short, playfully unco months of kittenhood, and I also like a cat that I’ve trained myself.

So at some stage soon we’ll get a kitten. Squeee!

But we’ll most likely get a tenant and kitten at around the same time, because kittens are fun and tenants are not. So dangling a future kitten in my mind keeps me motivated to continue figuring out how to fit all our stuff into smaller and smaller spaces.

I’ve donated three large garbage bags of clothes to charity/friends in the last few weeks—mostly my own. A lot of my outfits dated back to pre-Chris romances, which was quite a trip down memory lane. My general body shape has been extremely haywire for the last 8 years due to two enormous babies, various medical conditions, and an operation. Now that I’ve had the stomach op, though, I have a better idea of my proportions relative to one another. That’s helpful.

I kept some of my ‘optimistic’ clothes (including some gorgeous dresses) but put them in a box until next year.

Not for the first time, I noticed that I talk to myself a lot (and also talk to inanimate objects). Yet another reason to get a cat, amirite? That way at least I’m talking to an animal. Ana was always very helpful when a plot wasn’t working right and needed workshopping.

So that’s where life is at the moment. How about you?

*Louisette has really dramatic blood noses. I couldn’t tell you how long ago that particular stain happened; I rarely use that toilet so if you’ve visited us in the last three months… sorry ’bout that. You’ll also be pleased to hear that we changed the toilet seat to an adult sized version instead of the miniature one that we’ve been making people-who-are-not-us use for the last five years.

Author Photo

Every so often I get asked for an author photo. Here are some that I use pretty often:

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Nice and steampunky, but WILDLY out of date.

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Amusing – captured just as the whistle blew, scaring the crap out of me. I’m actually (just barely) pregnant with Louisette in this photo.

Generally author pics want to see one’s face in perilous close-up, however.

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A fairly nice pic… but of course having a kid in an author pic is a no-no for anyone who’s not writing picture books. So this is what I use:

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These two were taken by Cat Sparks at Conflux 2017. I had makeup on and everythink. Cat Sparks must be acknowledged by anyone who uses these (which is sometimes awkward).

Selfie taken on a miniature train.

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Selfie taken in the mirror, in costume, after my operation.

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What would you use if these were your choices, and you were an author trying to look super interesting and absolutely worth reading?

I think my favourite is the miniature train selfie. I look happy, and pretty nice despite the lack of makeup. Good hair and background, and looking away implies imagination.

I always take pics of myself at appearances (when I’m Properly Dressed) but so far they’ve never turned out well. Usually the lighting is bad, and I’ve begged a random passer-by to take the picture. Plus they’re generally full length, so even if my face is looking good it’s not high enough quality for an author photo.

UPDATE: The brilliant Cat Sparks (yes, her again!) took a billion photos of me at my latest book launch. These are the best, and I think the one that I accidentally posted twice is the absolute winner.

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Cover Reveal: Iron Lights

Here she is, in all her end-of-trilogy glory:

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And with her sisters:

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Wow. I can’t wait to have all three on a table.

Speaking of tables, this weekend is GammaCon Canberra, for all your nerdy needs!

You can find out more here, or just show up at Exhibition Park between 9am and 5pm this weekend (or 6-11pm Saturday, for Gamma @ night—yes I’ll still be there, drunk on tiredness).

“Murder in the Mail: A Bloody Birthday” Contributors

Full alphabetical list of contributors (many of these people are both writers and artists, but I’ve only listed them as artists if that’s their role in “A Bloody Birthday”):

Barr, Julian: Writer

https://jbarrauthor.wordpress.com/

1.postcard.TEMPORARY

Banks, Felicity: Writer & Curator

https://felicitybanks.wordpress.com/

Bendon, Carmel: Writer

https://carmelbendon.com

GrapsingAtWater_cover

 

Denman, Carolyn: Writer

http://carolyndenman.com/

5.Waterfall Banner

Goodin, Laura E: Writer

http://www.lauraegoodin.com/

4.Laramie_postcard_front_Lauras_book_covers

Hore, Phil: Writer

http://philhore.blogspot.com.au/

[Book cover TBA; later in 2018.]

Lee, Adam: Artist

http://www.adamleephotography.com.au/

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Lee, Annabelle: Artist

https://www.amazon.com/Octopus-Family-Annabelle-Lee/dp/1922200840

O’Meara, Shauna: Artist

https://theshaunacorner.wordpress.com/

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Turgoose, Tash: Writer & Artist

www.tashturgoose.com

Van Order, Keely: Artist

http://keelyvanorder.com/

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Virgo, Jane: Artist

https://csfg.wordpress.com/our-members-v2/jane-virgo/

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Fan Art

Choices That Matter is a serial story hub app by Tin Man Games. KG Tan is the project head and editor. The stories are:

And The Sun Went Out written by KG Tan, Alyce Potter, and myself.

And Their Souls Were Eaten written by yours truly (edited by KG Tan and Phill Berrie).

And Their Heroes Were Lost written by Phill Berrie (edited by KG Tan and yours truly), which is still getting periodically updated at the moment (the ‘serial’ part of the app).

 

All of which is to say that there is a bunch of awesome fan art out there, and it’s high time I collected some here!

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This is Etienne Sole, one of the love interests in And The Sun Went Out. The artist is Frey. His website is here and his twitter is here.

 

There’s more gorgeous And The Sun Went Out art here (but I can’t figure out how to contact the artist).

And here (same artist as the above link).

If you know of more fan art out there please let me know. I’ll share anything G-rated (and I love knowing about it all, OF COURSE).

TrailerFest 2018

Today I decided that my 2-3 (I honestly don’t know) YouTube accounts needed tidying up, so I started a fresh new channel (because that simplifies things, right?) using the MagicintheMailStories@gmail.com email account.

As you may have guessed, I love doing my own book trailers. It’s so much fun!

The channel is here (don’t click on that; they’re all right here).

Then I slightly-edited ALL my existing book trailers to make sure they all link back to my store, and put them all on the magical new channel. And here, for your convenience… including the NEW trailer for IRON LIGHTS (with a sneaky cover reveal)… are all my book and story trailers thus far.

Antipodean Queen 1: Heart of Brass

This trailer took several days to make as I tried to capture the sense of the novel via visual images (a process that became tradition for all three Antipodean Queen trailers). It’s the first trailer I ever attempted, and my first go at iMovie too. I’d filmed the waterworks engine at the Goulburn Waterworks Steampunk & Victoriana Fair the previous October, and several of my friends like steampunk and/or historical garb (and dancing) so I found quite a lot of images that way, then filled the trailer out with some stock images, and some pics from Michael Estrada (who is very generous with his images; I found him on deviant art by accident some time ago).

There’s some adorably (I hope) bad photoshopping here, too: Combining a stock image of steampunk people with my own photo of a hot air balloon; the top hat on this trailer’s version of Matilda; the clumsy erasure of a modern background.

I have my own ideas about which people in this trailer represent which characters. The couple in the thumbnail are now married so they fit Matilda and Patrick rather well. In fact I usually run into them at the Goulburn Fair.

I remain pathetically grateful to FLAP! for letting me use three of their songs (one per trailer). I’ve seen them live twice (first in Melbourne, then Canberra) and I hope their component parts are still making music. This song is a true story about a convict’s attempted escape from a Tasmanian prison. The second is also a true story… this time about the time the lead singer fell off a cliff and broke both her legs!

Antipodean Queen 2: Silver and Stone

I was delighted to discover that the model Irina Braga (who features on the covers) had done three different steampunk photo shoots. The image below is one that hasn’t been altered. I actually stumbled across her husband on one of the facebook steampunk communities I’m part of, and he bought a copy of the first book.

This trailer benefited from the advance knowledge that it would exist; I deliberately collected images over time. One might argue that my daughter is the star here, and I am absolutely fine with that.

I’d noticed at my first book launch that it’s worth taking a moment to explain what steampunk is before carrying on. And that it’s fun to mix videos with still images (although stock video costs a LOT).

Yes, the first image after the opening train is indeed me, looking rather younger and fitter than I do these days. But I still have that corset 🙂

Antipodean Queen 3: Iron Lights

This trailer didn’t cost a cent. Almost every picture (and all three videos) were taken at—again—the Goulburn Waterworks Steampunk & Victoriana Fair. In fact the lady with the wings (Leanne, I think) had a not inconsiderable influence on the plot.

Eagle-eyed viewers may notice that the British flag-vested gentleman is the very same man that I thought of as ‘Patrick’ in the trailer for Heart of Brass, and that there are at least three versions of Emmeline in the one trailer (the woman with the clockwork handle in her back is author and model Tara Moss, who is a simply fantastic human being).

I was careful to include both my children this time. TJ is the boy in the brown aviator hat; Louisette is the tiara-wearing pirate (apparently “more treacherous than any sea” although she certainly doesn’t look it).

I LOVE the image of the three books side by side, and went back to add it to trailers #1 and #2.

The pictures of the lighthouse and the sea were all taken by me at the Lonsdale Lighthouse. ‘Miss Venture’ is a real historical image that I based the character on.

IRON LIGHTS will be launched on Sunday 26th August 2018 2:15-2:45pm at Kings’ Hall (Old Parliament House) as part of the Canberra Writers’ Festival.

Heest Trilogy 1: The Monster Apprentice (set in Rahana)

I wanted this trailer to feel quite different, so I hired some actor friends and told a story (of sorts) through the videos & music (this was a very expensive trailer). When I had all the internal illustrations, I added several of Tash Turgoose’s pics. I’m very pleased with the result.

Murder in the Mail: A Bloody Birthday

The fundamental appeal—and difficulty—of the “Murder in the Mail” story system is that it has to be explained to every single reader. For that reason, I tried to be as clear as possible. I filmed relatives of mine posting and retrieving A4 envelopes from mailboxes, and ultimately only used the “recipient” footage (although I like it a lot).

Louisette did some very matter-of-fact acting which I wanted to include but the “Murder in the Mail” artists gently pointed out that having a child prominently featured was rather confusing for a murder mystery story.

For some reason Adobe gave me several free stock images at just the right moment, so I used that plus some of the art that I had permission to use publicly. I paid for the music.

This trailer was very useful for the Kickstarter campaign, as it’s well above the usual Kickstarter video standards. This is what my trailers look like when I’m trying to be closer to the ‘professional’ end of the ‘professional to quirky’ scale.

Magic in the Mail story series (Emmeline’s Empire and Feuding Fae)

This trailer took perhaps half an hour, and cost nothing! The song is the same song that’s included with the Magic in the Mail: Emmeline’s Empire story, and I used 100% art images rather than stock images. I copied and pasted the Murder in the Mail trailer into a new file, and then simply changed it from there, being careful to echo the beats of the original without making the two trailers identical.

And since Magic in the Mail is more child-friendly than Murder in the Mail I could use Louisette’s face in this one. Winner.

 

Do I have any advice for people making their own trailers?

Hmmm. Try to keep it under a minute, with striking images and emotions that give a sense of the book rather than necessarily focusing on plot or characters.

Have an EPIC cover.

Keep in mind that you can get a pretty decent book trailer for $5 or so. 😛

The beginning of the end

Well, it’s still not 100% certain, but things aren’t looking good for Princess Ana. There are probably some hard decisions ahead.

So here she is, looking perfect as usual:

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Update: The decision to put her to sleep has been made. We’ll tell the kids in the morning.

Update: Ana died peacefully at the vet last Saturday.

The Banana Bread of Destiny

The only good thing about banana bread is that is uses up bananas.*

Ingredients

1 and a half c buckwheat flour

1 c coconut sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cinnamon

1 c mashed banana

1 egg

1/2 c yogurt

1/4 c grapeseed oil

1/3 c maple syrup

2 tsp vanilla bean paste

Method

1. Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon.

2. Add banana, egg, yogurt, oil, maple syrup, and vanilla. Mix.

3. Pour into a lightly greased 21cm x 10cm loaf tin lined with baking paper.

4. Bake for 1 hour at 160 degrees or until cooked when tested with a skewer.

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Obviously, the kids loved this. Even Louisette.

 

Yum Factor: 0

Health: 2

Easy: 4

Will make again? Nope. Bananas are evil.

*Apologies to the 6 year-old child who lovingly contributed this recipe to her Year 1 class.

Aaaand we’re done!

While in the waiting room today I looked over my last three months of blood sugar readings. It turns out I spoke too soon when I blamed that delicious baklava for my record-breaking blood sugar reading the following morning.

As is utterly obvious to anyone who glances at me in passing, I eat a lot of chocolate. Like, every day. (I’m gonna go analyse that habit sometime soon.)

Despite this, my blood sugar has been remarkably good ever since my stomach operation  last year. (Pause for cheering!)

Except these school holidays.

Was it all these not-usually-healthy recipes?

Actually, nope.

I looked back over the past three months of daily blood sugar readings, and guess what?

There were a total of 10 high blood sugar readings.

1 was due to getting up at stupid o’clock to drive to Sydney.

1 was just random.

2 were due to medical appointments. (Often deeply stressful.)

The other 6—that is, 60%—were ALL on the one day a week that I look after the kids for the full day (that is, from 8am until 6pm, while Chris is at work and there’s no day care or grandparents).

So that’s informative. Unfortunately for everyone, I associate the kids with an increase in physical pain and panic, which of course is a self-fulfilling thing.

So school’s about to start again, which is going to help with my sanity a bunch, but I clearly need to think about this some more. For one thing, I’ll make sure Chris takes more time off work next holidays.

Sushi Bowl Recipe

Okay, this one made me nervous. It was invented by one of the kids “inspired by the giant packet of seaweed paper he asked his mum to buy at Costco”.

What could possibly go wrong?

Ingredients

Rice

Smoked salmon

Avocado

Seaweed paper

Soy sauce

Method

1. Cook rice.

2. Put rice in a bowl.

3. Scrunch up the seaweed.

4. Put salmon, avocado, and seaweed in the bowl.

5. Drizzle on soy sauce.

6. Soy sauce.

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Obviously, after taking the picture, I shovelled on a whole lot more salmon and avocado and tucked in. It was delicious.

I let the children choose their own toppings, encouraging them to make beautiful designs. Louisette’s is on the left, and TJ’s is on the right.

*long sigh*

Great job kids.

Yum Factor: 4

Health: 4

Easy: 4

Will make again? Maybe. It was pretty great—except for the seaweed 😛

 

I had my diabetes checkup today. It’s over now, which is good. There was a lot of crying (just from me, but with several different medical professionals because why stop at just one?), and then I went and bought a fast food lunch and $20 worth of lollies.

So, today went pretty much as expected.

Now there’s just one more job to do: wait for the vet to call and tell me my cat has cancer.

What a fabulous day.

It is pretty nice, actually. I’m watching “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” (terrible title, brilliant show) and stuffing my face. My major decision of the day is whether to lie down while watching TV, stay sitting while watching TV, lie down and read a book, or take a nap.

Who am I kidding? The only decision is which order to do all of the above.

More More Pancakes

Ingredients

2 eggs

1 and 3/4c milk

1 tsp vanilla essence

2 c self-raising flour

1/3 c caster sugar

 

Method

  1. In a bowl, sift self raising flour and mix in the caster sugar.
  2. In a separate bowl, mix eggs, milk, and vanilla essence.
  3. Add egg mixture to dry ingredients and mix until there are no lumps (a blender, hand mixer, or shaking bottle is helpful).
  4. Heat and grease frypan.
  5. Spoon mixture into frypan and cook until bubbles form and pop.
  6. Flip and cook other side.
  7. Enjoy with your favourite toppings.

 

The kids were thrilled, naturally.

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Surprisingly, this recipe had a lot of similar elements to the other one (I guess not that surprisingly, since they’re both pancake recipes).

Tomorrow is technically the last day of school holidays, and the kids will both be at the grandparents all day. So we made it? I guess? We HAVE done all the recipes, and I’ll blog about the last two shortly.

Today I spent two hours with an endometriosis nurse. This is one of the steps along the road towards likely surgery (given how much the last surgery helped, and how much hormone treatments have destroyed my brain, this is good news—and since it’s through the public system, I won’t need to run another GoFundMe campaign).

As I drove to the appointment at the Canberra Hospital, I listened to the radio.

So it turns out that, last night, a man under police guard wrestled a GUN off a POLICE OFFICER and fired at least two shots. In Canberra Hospital. (He’s now being charged with two counts of attempted murder, so. . . yay?)

Well, I didn’t get shot and I didn’t quite start full-on bawling while discussing my mental and physical health, or being earnestly told that diet and exercise is strongly recommended (WHAT!?!?! I’m an enormously fat female with depression so that idea has never once occurred to me or any of the dozens of medical professionals I meet every week or so).

So. . . yay.

Tomorrow I have a “diabetes checkup” which is medical speak for having another, unrelated nurse tell me to diet and exercise. She’ll continue suggesting exercises I can’t do and foods I can’t eat until I start sobbing, then she’ll tell me off for giving her attitude, and then I’ll say, “Thank you very much. I’m going now” and walk out while she’s still talking.

Or at least, that’s what the last one was like.

Oops cookies

I forgot this one: Choc Chip Cookies

Ingredients

125g butter, cubed

3/4c brown sugar

1/4c caster sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla essence

1 c self raising flour

1 c plain flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 c choc chips

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Method

1. Melt butter.

2. Add the sugars to the butter and mix well.

3. In a separate bowl whisk an egg, then whisk in the butter and sugar mixture. Add vanilla essence and mix well, until it looks like caramel.

4. Add flour and baking powder. Stir to combine and fold in chocolate chips.

5. Roll into balls and place on a lined tray.

6. Bake at 180 degrees for 12-15 minutes or until lightly golden. Cool on a wire rack.

Okay, so confession time: It was ever so slightly difficult to stir, so I added more melted butter. Don’t blame the recipe. (Also, I was two lazy to use two types of sugar, so I only used brown. So the biscuits are brown.)

 

In the world’s least startling news, the kids loved every crumb, and so did I.

 

Yum Factor: 5

Health: lol

Easy: 5

Will make again? Yup. I might even follow the recipe next time.

Three recipes to go people!

Also, Ana (aka the cat aka Fuzzybutt aka SHADDUP) just had a checkup and she now needs Rather Ominous follow-up tests. We’ll most likely find out on Friday if she’s okay or not. (Although usually when medical types say that, it ends up taking much longer.)

Here she is, looking (as usual) annoyed that I’m taking a picture.

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Sushi

I went through a sushi phase long ago so I was pretty confident going into this. I was also pretty confident the kids would be determined not to give this beautiful-looking food a chance. So… how did it go?

Ingredients

Rice

Seaweed sheet

Cucumber

Japanese mayonnaise

Soy sauce

[I added a small tin of tuna & sun-dried tomato, which was delicious.]

Method

1. Wash and cook rice.

2. Cut cucumber into matchsticks.

3. Put the seaweed sheet on a large chopping board and spread rice on the seaweed sheet.

4. Put the cucumber over the rice.

5. Squeeze the mayonnaise on the cucumber.

6. Roll it up and cut into pieces.

7. Dip into soy sauce and enjoy!

TJ liked it, but even Louisette’s enthusiastic friend wasn’t enough to win her over.

So much for peer pressure.

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You can clearly tell that some slices worked better than others (always!) but I was pretty happy with how most of them looked. (I should admit, you need a good sharp knife for slicing so it’s not generally a good task for kids—but they both loved the rest of the process.)

Yum Factor: 4 (I actually REALLY liked these!)

Health: 5 (low fat, and has 2.5 vegies if you count the words “sun-dried tomato” from the tuna tin. I’m assuming anything as aggressively green as the seaweed must be good for me.)

Easy: 3 (easier than it looks, but also easy to screw up)

Will make again? I think it might be time for another sushi phase! Especially since we have the rest of the pack of seaweed sheets.

I know these are really California rolls, but you get the idea.

I like using almost any small flavoured meat tins for this.

Chicken 65

I’d never heard of Chicken 65 (a popular South Indian dish) but a quick google shows I’ve been missing out.

Ingredients

500 gm chicken

1 tsp lemon juice/plain yogurt

1 tsp corn flour

1 tsp chickpea flour/plain flour

1/2 tsp ginger garlic paste

1 egg

1 tsp chilli powder

1/2 tsp mixed spice powder

Pinch tumeric

Pinch pepper

Salt to taste

Oil for deep frying

Method

1. Clean and cut chicken into bite size pieces.

2. Add lemon juice/yogurt to chicken and set aside.

3. Mix the rest of the ingredients (except the oil) into a smooth paste.

4. Add the chicken to the paste, mix well until combined, and allow it to rest for half-1 hour.

5. Deep fry in medium flame until golden.

IMG_5213Due to my usual habit of altering various ingredients, the ‘paste’ wasn’t very paste-y in consistency. Chris and I heartily enjoyed our fried chicken all the same.

You can see above that there are two distinct colours of fried chicken, varying due to the heat of the oil. The lighter-coloured chicken was cooked at medium (instead of high) heat, and tasted nicer.

Louisette. . . well. .

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Yum Factor: 4

Health: 3 (points for protein; points off for deep frying!)

Easy: 3 (I’ve deep fried a few times in my life, and only set the kitchen on fire once… but this is certainly not something the kids will be cooking solo anytime soon)

Will make again? Probably not. I may not be the poster child for low-fat eating, but I usually steer clear of actually deep frying my food.

Going Bananas

Louisette was deliriously excited about these. I’m mildly intolerant of bananas, especially the smell of bananas.

When I gathered the courage to breach the banana, I realised that the recipe didn’t include proportions. I googled, and adjusted this recipe.

Ingredients

130g butter (melted)

70g caster sugar

1 egg

1 banana, mashed

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp vanilla essence

250g self raising flour

160g milk

Another 50g melted butter

60g cinnamon sugar

Method

1. Beat butter and sugar until smooth.

2. Add egg and mix.

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3. Mix in baking powder, cinnamon, vanilla, and banana.

4. Sift flour and add flour and milk a little at a time until it’s all combined.

5. Spoon out onto baking tray in round shapes. (I put the mixture into a clear vegie bag, cut off the corner, and used it like a piping bag—it was very easy to use and would have been tidy if I’d used two trays instead of squeezing it all out here.)

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6. Bake for 6-8 minutes at 200 degrees. Flip with a fork after 5-6 minutes. Also, lick the bowl.

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7. Cool on tray for 5 minutes and then turn out onto a cooling rack.

8. Drizzle melted butter over the top and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar.

 

Okay, so…. remember I had a huge pile of syrup leftover from the baklava? I used that instead of milk. So this is what happened:

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The back row is flipped and the front row isn’t (yet). I didn’t help my case by being too lazy to use two trays (and therefore making six monster donuts instead of 12 small, neat donuts).

They tasted amazing, though!

I used an apple corer to make the holes in the middle.

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Yum Factor: 4.5 (actually, these were REALLY nice. And even crispy on the edges, which I really liked)

Health: 1 (contains a single hard-working banana)

Easy: 4

Will make again? Actually… Yes, I think I will. Strange but true.

Chicken Curry

This was never going to go well. . .

Ingredients

1 kg skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (I used half a kilo chopped chicken thigh and adapted from there)

2 tsp salt (I left it out)

1/2 c cooking oil

1 and a half c chopped onion (I used half a fennel bulb)

1 T minced garlic (I used a jar)

1 and a half tsp minced fresh ginger root (I used a jar)

1 T  curry powder (I used chilli powder)

1 tsp ground cumin (I left it out)

1 tsp ground tumeric (I left it out)

1 tsp cayenne pepper (I left it out)

1 T water

470g crushed tomatoes

1 c plain yogurt

1 T chopped fresh coriander (I used dried and powdered)

1 tsp salt (I left it out)

1/2 c water

1 tsp garam masala (I used my own mixture)

1 T fresh lemon juice

 

Should I even bother typing the method? Looking at the ingredients above, I can see why this didn’t… resemble… the original recipe.

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It was edible, but nothing special.

TJ liked it, presumably because his aim in life is simply to keep us guessing. (Oh, and because I once again set aside some plain butter-fried chicken for him.)

 

Louisette… well…

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Next stop: Banana and cinnamon donuts

Carrot Halwa

I thought this was a dip until I googled it, at which point I went, “Ah, a dessert! That explains all that sugar.”

Ingredients

2c grated carrots

1c milk

3/4c palm sugar/brown sugar

3 T ghee (clarified butter)

Pinch of cardamon powder

10 cashews (optional; I used much more than 10)

1 T raisins (I left them out since Louisette and I are intolerant of dried fruit)

 

Method

1. Heat a pan with one tablespoon of ghee. Fry cashews and raisins until golden brown and then set aside. (I realised I was frying cashews in butter, and added sugar to see if I could create a ‘sugared/toffee cashew’ effect. It worked pretty well!)

2. Put grated carrots in the pan and sauté them until they no longer smell of raw carrots.

3. Add milk and cook on low/medium heat 10-12 minutes.

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4. Stir sometimes. Milk will boil and bubble up nicely. Cook it until the carrots are completely cooked and the milk is absorbed.

5. Once the milk is almost absorbed, add brown sugar and cardamon. Mix well. The mixture will liquefy and then thicken up. Continue cooking until all the milk is absorbed. Keep stirring, and add the remaining ghee little by little.

6. When the halwa forms a whole mass and doesn’t stick to the pan, add fried cashews and raisins and switch off the flame.

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I didn’t use nearly enough carrots, so the result was rather like eating wet brown sugar. Naturally the kids approved of this result.

Yum Factor: 2 (it’s unusual for a dish to have too much sugar for me, but this managed it)

Health: 1 (contains carrot)

Easy: 1 (since I fatally screwed it up)

Will make again? Nah. . . but I might make sugared cashews again one day.

Hey, want a cat picture? Sure you do!

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Baklava

Sugar, pastry, butter, and nuts?

What could possibly go wrong?

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Ingredients

1/2 kilo Antonnious Filo Pastry (we used some other brand)

2 c crushed almonds (we used a combination of cashews and walnuts)

1 and a half c butter

1 T cinnamon

Syrup

3 c sugar

1 c hone*

2 c water

Cinnamon stick

1 tsp cloves sticks

Method

  1. Mix nuts, sugar, and cinnamon.
  2. Butter a slice tray and lay a few sheets of filo pastry onto it (I used one sheet; the one we bought had a smaller number of thick slices which worked fine).
  3. Brush each sheet with butter (sooo much butter).
  4. Spread a small amount of nut mixture over filo layer.
  5. Continue making successive layers of filo and almond that are roughly the same thickness.
  6. Finish with a thicker layer of filo sheets (6-8 sheets), brushing each sheet with butter (I used one thick sheet, as before, and didn’t put butter on top).
  7. With a sharp knife, cut the baklava into diamond shaped pieces (I did squares).
  8. Sprinkle with water and bake in a medium oven for about an hour.
  9. When it is finished cooking, prepare syrup: Place water, honey, and spice in a saucepan and boil for 15 minutes.
  10. Pour boiling syrup over baklava, and let it cool again before serving.

The above pics are the baklava before and after the syrup. I ended up with 150g of syrup left over, presumably because I didn’t use honey. It still tasted fantastic, and I set aside the syrup with a plan to add it to another dish (which I did, with. . . results).

It’s amazing how some recipes take butter and sugar and suchlike and actually make them less healthy. It doesn’t seem possible, yet it happens. I’m no poster child for healthy eating, but the day after making baklava my blood sugar level was insane.

The kids loved it, but even they struggled to finish a single piece in a sitting.

Yum Factor: 4.5 (all this sugar and butter but no chocolate? Pfft.)

Health: -5000

Easy: 4

Will make again? Only if I’m trying to be the first person on Earth to be diagnosed with double diabetes. It was delicious though.

 

I’ve actually made it almost all the way through the recipe book (with blog entries lagging behind). This recipe is #9, which marks the halfway point.

*I pondered the meaning of hone, and googled this exotic ingredient with no success. Then I realised it was HONEY. I used a mix of maple syrup and golden syrup instead.