A hundred balloons and a headache later, I recollected why I don’t do this every day. Ah well.
It could be worse. I could have five tiny (but incredibly sharp) pins attached to every limb. That’d sure suck.
But then people came over. Balloons are silly, and so are my friends. Enjoyment ensued. Conversations punctuated with balloon throws quickly turned to mayhem.
Finally I gave everyone their very own dressmaking pin and my house literally exploded.
Bam! Pow! Squee! Colourful corpses everywhere!
At last the fun was done, and I put the pins away. But there were more of them lurking behind the couch! Fortunately, my partner has a sword.
Play along at home: Fill an enemy’s house with balloons. Cost: $6, and a massive headache.
Weight update: .6 of a kilo remaining. This should work.
In other news, remember how I had a pleasant dream of shaming a bunch of footballers? A few nights ago I dreamed I rescued a bunch of footballers from a collapsing mine. So that’s what a subconscious apology looks like.
Since it’s Friday, here’s the twitter tale so far.
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
Woke up totally gross. Had a shower then realised I’m, like, a vampire now. My friend Sammy’s gonna be SO jealous!
Spent all day looking for a mirror that works. This sucks! Also I feel super hungry, and I get the feeling celery won’t fix this craving.
Killed a guy. He was, like, totally delicious!