Day 7: Completed Story

1.

A friend got me the job – $90 an hour, starting the day after he left on holiday. Seemed a lot of cash to work for the local tourism office.

*

The boss looked at me silently for an hour. “Can you swim?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Can you run?”

“Yes.”

“How long can you hold your breath?”

*

I said, “So, you want me to get attacked by a crocodile?”

“That’s right.”

“For. . . tourism?”

He said, “Works every time.”

I said, “Okay.”

2.

It was a pretty spot, with a handful of limp eucalyptus and the babble of the stream keeping me company. Crocs watched me  without blinking.

*

I hooked up a high-tension cable primed to spring the instant I released my grip. Then I put on my wetsuit and jumped in. Nothing happened.

*

Forgot to put the video recorder on! I backed up slowly and realised the sun had cooked its battery. So I SMSed for more. Stupid crocs.

3.

Take two. Camera on this time. I kept a firm hold on the cable release button and went deeper. The crocs didn’t move. Why won’t they eat me?

*

It occurred to me that I actually didn’t want to lose a leg, and then – WHAM! Huge jaws clamped on my foot and SPROING! I flew into the air.

*

The crocodile swung in wild cartwheels with me, like a dog with a toy. We both flew over the campsite and landed sprawling in two trees.

4.

Pretty sure being stuck in a tree next to a croc (also stuck) was tourism gold. Too bad my leg was broken and I couldn’t get to the cameras.

*

A pigtailed girl examined me. She said, “Whatcha doin?”

“I’m stuck, and I need help.”

She shrugged, and went to the water.

“No!” I yelled.

*

The girl’s parents hustled her away, but promised to come back real soon. I saw the dust as they drove away. My crocodile yawped at me.

5.

Thirsty. Leg hurt. Croc looked angrier. The little girl’s parents took a video of me and it before fleeing. At least I know I’m on Youtube.

*

An aboriginal man yelled, “Watcha doin?” until I woke up.

“Help me,” I said.

Then a croc spotted him and ran across the mud to kill him.

*

My new friend is Will: “So, you didn’t think to mention the crocs around here?”

“Sorry.”

Will shrugged it off, shaking our whole tree.  

6.

Will’s crocodile guard finally left, so Will went to fetch – something. It turned out to be another camera. Hilarious.

*

The RSPCA arrived before the medical team. They cut down the tree and my croc vanished underwater without sparing me a farewell glance.

*

Morphine! Yes! Besht medicine ever. My leg’s not even broken anymore – I’m sure of it. Can I have a crocodile for a pet? Pleeeeasse?

7.

The boss gave me a cheque, minus expenses. “Well done,” he said.

I shrugged.

He lifted one eyebrow. “Have you ever fought an emu?”

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