January 3: Bind Your Mind

Welcome to your new theme and new story, “The Spy Who Shoved Me”. (The actual tweets will appear late tonight, since my parents are posting them – China doesn’t allow twitter at this time.)

Our hero is Jimmy Bind, the lovechild of James Bond and someone even prettier.

He speaks thirty-two languages fluently (and none of them are Klingon), can shoot a thread through a needle at three hundred paces, and is so handsome 33% of women who observe him on the street faint instantly.

His tools include:

Sleeping gas pen.

Blow-up gum.

Two matchbox cars (including matches and gunpowder)

Piercing blue eyes.

A whole lot of high-quality duct tape (or gaffa, as we call it in Australia).

Leave a Reply